Pasadena: Revised Images of Excellence (1996) Mike Rose

I feel like throughout the education unit I have spoken about my high school a lot. I unconditionally loved New World School of the Arts. It was an amazing school dedicated to the best interests of the students. It was a performing arts high school so we were separated into academies. I was in the the visual arts academy while my best friend was a musical theatre major. We studied what we were interested in. Like Pasadena high school we had to take regular academic classes like chemistry and foreign language but the teachers knew how to grab our attention and teach us these humdrum lessons in ways that we could both understand and even like. Yes I said it I enjoyed learning chemistry because my teacher would teach us about solvents and solutions which actually helped when it came to mixing paints and working with the weird solvents in the sculpture and ceramic department.  Alena Bayramyan, a sophomore who emigrated from Armenia said “ This program is so special, the teachers don’t want you to get  a low grade. They really care about you. It’s like we’re a family.” I can promise you that Alena will always feel this way about her teachers and say that they have changed her life. I remember giving a speech at my graduation and saying something almost exact about the about the art faculty. They were my family, My teacher Mr. Wyroba had become my second dad. He cared about me so much always making sure I was on top of my grades and if I was absent he would call to make sure I was feeling okay. I called him Daddy Y, and he was that to me, a father. Sometimes I felt that he was more a father to me than my own dad, because I spent so much more time with him. My sculptor teacher on the other hand was like a brother. He had recently graduated from Maryland Institute College of Art and he was the most inspirational, helpful person you could ever meet. Any idea I had wasn't big enough, he made me believe I had the potential to go bigger, to achieve more. It was because of Mr. Loveland, but I called him Mr. Lovely man that I was confident enough to pursue art in college. But I call him like a brother to me not just because of his age but also because he was a practical joker and a prankster. We would constantly be pulling pranks and tricking one another. I always felt comfortable with him.

Reading about the making of the business cards was actually really interesting, We made business cards in my high school graphic design class, I still keep some in my wallet to this day. Dimple and Lynita remind me of me and my best friend Liza Marie. We were the goofballs of the class but inseparable. Lets just say our business cards came out looking quite similar. But the whole process of concentrating and biting the lip and being extremely focused is true. You have to be precise and perfect after all “this is you selling yourself to someone who may never even meet you. Make yourself good” Ms. Piscal would say throughout the project. “ the central importance of learning how to learn, how to reason, and how to investigate complex issues that require collaboration, personal responsibility, and a tolerance for uncertainty.” this is a beautiful quote because of how true it is. Art requires you to not only learn but master all these things. Schools like Pasadena High School and New World School of the Arts have a lower drop out rate because of their caring teachers and their aim to interest the student in a way regular schools cant. 

Idiot Nation; MIchael Moore

Idiot Nation

Michael Moore

Michael Moore is a man who, to quote my cousin “ has some major balls.” In 2002 he proudly held up his Oscar for best documentary and shouted “ Shame on you Mr. Bush”, but this was expected of Michael Moore who is a very opinionated man. When I began reading this excerpt I was annoyed because Mr. Moore  sounded like a judgmental man who thought his ideals and ideas were better than everyone else's to quote my mom he thought “ his sh*t don’t stink”,  We get it Mr. Moore you think all Americans are idiots. Moore zooms into all the downfalls of American education while he himself is a college drop out. 

Do you feel like you live in a nation of idiots? I never thought to ask myself this question. I mean sure I have had the occasional insipid conversation with someone but never did I think I was surrounded by idiots. Moor really got me thinking, do I know when world war two was? Am I aware of what is going on between America and foreign countries? Or am I one of the two million “stone cold” idiots he is referring to? It was not till I read further on that I realized  Moore is not just a pretentious writer who believes that America is stupid. He believes in the capability of Americans to be smart, but what is idiotic is where we are focusing all of our capabilities. like memorizing obscene amounts of random sports facts or “all thirty obscure trivia questions in less than 120 seconds” It wasn't until I read this article that I realized how impressive it was that my brother and boyfriend could give you any sport stat on any team at the drop of a hat but my they probably haven’t a clue about the amount of money we owe China or our unemployment rate. They have the brain capacity and the capability but it is being aimed in the wrong direction. What Moore is saying is that our own decisions are what are making us Americans idiots, he is not questioning our capabilities. I assumed him to be a pretentious know it all but reading his work I have found that he just prides himself on the decisions he has made which has led him away from becoming an “American Idiot” that and the fact that he was a very driven boy winning school board president at the age of eighteen,  trying to make a change in our idiotic public school system with its leaking ceilings, crowded hallways and unmotivated teachers. He jumped from a slave to the school system to the boss of his principle. That driven boy turned into a driven man winning an Oscar in 2002 for our cluelessness. Come on America! Get a Clue! 

“I don’t want to be an American Idiot” anymore...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lg7YjwZzNz0

Jonathan Kazol: Savage Inequalities (1991)

Savage Inequalities (1991)

Jonathan Kozol

Kozol spent two years visiting schools and talking with students and finding an astonishing amount of racial segregation. Many of the schools he visited had an astronomical amount of damage which gave the students very little to no hope. This reminds me a lot of my middle school. I went to Southwood middle school about two miles away from my house. It was from grades 6-8 and had about three thousand kids. I couldn't walk through the hallway without being pushed into a wall or smacking into someone. I dreaded going to school with all those kids and having a to race to my classes to avoid getting the squeaky chair in the back. I had loved going to school back in elementary school where the teachers knew you as a name rather than a number. Going to a big school where no one really cared about either you or the school contributes to the loss of interest in education or pursuing it.

There was a teacher Jonathan Kozol wrote about; his name was Jack Forman and he was the head of the English department. He is described as a “scholarly and handsome gray-haired man”. Mr. Forman is a teacher who cares about more than the money; he cares about the well being of his students. He gets the difficulties his students face and understands that even thought these kids have lived a tough life, growing up in a rough neighborhood they are still children and he “speaks to them like children.” At Southwood there was a young professor named Mr. Cameron. Like Mr. Forman, Mr. Cameron cared about more than the money. He saw my struggle to find the motivation I had lost moving to a big school. Mr. Cameron had high expectations for us and made sure that we had high expectations for ourselves. It was because of Mr. Cameron that most of us were able to move on to high school.

I was the only kid in my family to go to public school. I saw the beautiful campuses of my brother and sister’s school compared to the cinder block I went to school in. They were always so excited to go to school and eat the cafeteria food while I dreaded  going back to school on Mondays. Jonathan Kozols study is correct in saying that the environment we spend most of our days in has  large impact on whether or not we reach our potential. 

In the Beginning: The 1893 Report of the Committee of Ten (1893) Creating the Comprehensive High School (1959)

In the Beginning: The 1893 Report of the Committee of Ten (1893) 

Creating the Comprehensive High School (1959)

Its hard to believe that in 1890 only 6.7 percent of fourteen to seventeen year olds attended high school and today in 2010 it is mandatory for anyone under the age of sixteen to attend school. Growing up being forced to wake up early everyday to go to school definitely made me detest the whole education process but reading this has made me realize how much work and time went into creating the subjects and purpose of secondary schools. I never took the time to realize all the factors that go into creating the guidelines of education or what goes into creating the course schedule. Things like how many hours a week should school, what topics should we study, should we be required to graduate high school and go into college level courses, etc. So many issues had to be covered in order to create the educational system that most of us take advantage of because of the time that we have to wake up in the morning or the work we have to do at home. In most of the matters brought before the conferences, that took place to created the guidelines of education that we still follow today, the decision of the conference was unanimous. This is incredible when you consider the different institutions, professional experiences and personalities represented in each meeting. This holds great weight because deciding on what type of pizza to get at a slumber party with five different girls can get tricky enough with all the different personalities and preferences, and that is only pizza, I cant even fathom creating an entire system of education and having the decisions be unanimous for the most part.  

I had no idea the high school I went to in known as a “specialized” high school, New World provided a vocational education and admits students on a very selective basis. But a comprehensive high school is much different. Comprehensive high schools have three main objectives; to provide a general education, provide good elective programs and to provide satisfactory programs for those whose future depends on this education that will lead them into a university. James B. Conant, a former leading education researcher in the United States, did a survey and found eight schools that were in his judgement satisfactory in fulfilling the these three main objectives. What I found interesting were his results on gender in these schools. The academic inventory showed that more than half of the academically talented boys had studied at least seven years of mathematics, science, English and social studies while in no school had a majority of academically talented girls studied that same amount. But on the other hand boys did not choose to study more than two years of a foreign language while a majority of the girls studied foreign language for three or more years. I find these findings fascinating given the gender unit we just finished with, and I wonder if we studied more into these findings if gender role is a larger issue not just in how we act and what we do but also in what we choose to study.

David Osborne; Beyond the Cult of Fatherhood (1985)

David Osborne 

Beyond the Cult of Fatherhood (1985)

Reading this essay by David Osborne reminded me of my own family life; Where my father is the chef and my mother is the handyman/woman. Like David my father has an occupation besides being the househusband; he is a lawyer but since he has his own practice his hours are flexible. I remember waking up like Nick and calling for my father, waiting for his strong hands to pull me out of the crib and set me in my hot pink high chair where I played with my little transformer toys while he prepared our breakfast; a hot pot of coffee for him and some oatmeal for me.   At this time my brother had already been taken to school by my mom who then headed off to the hospital where she worked long hours in the emergency room as a social worker. I hadn’t realized that connection until now, that both Nick’s mom and my mom each worked at a hospital. There would be days that I wouldn’t see my mother at all because of how late she worked and just like Nick’s mom the guilt would be evident in her face especially when I went to Daddy both as my partner for play and my support. I had become Daddy’s little girl. 

I find it so interesting that gender roles play such a large part in society that Nick’s father would have had an identity crises staying home full time with Nick had he not been an established writer, whereas there are plenty of stay at home mothers that are fulfilled doing just that; staying at home. Nick’s mother also felt a large sense of guilt as she watched her son cry or whenever he was injured or sick and she wasn’t there to care for him. She felt this way because it is woman who has been given the task of being the main caretaker for the children as their first and most important job. It causes me to look back on my childhood and wonder if my father ever felt like less of a man because he was the primary caretaker, or if my mom ever felt like less of a mother because I went to my father for comfort and guidance. 

Gender roles have never played a big issue in my family or at least I never thought so but after reading this essay I wonder if it was a bigger issue to my parents than I originally thought. 

Conquering themselves So Beautifully: Louisa May Alcott, Women's Rights/ Men: Sojourner Truth

I have loved the novel little woman since I was a little girl and my mother would read a chapter every night before I went to sleep. I always felt that I could relate to Jo the most with her comical nose and eyes that could see everything. Oh and how could  I forget the long dark brown nest of hair that was always bundled into a net, this was the attribute that made me most like her. Jo was the tomboy that used some of her own slang as Meg calls it. Jo with her boyish name and her slang would complain about being a girl and did things like whistle because it was un-lady like and boyish; which is what I would do when I was younger. I would constantly pop my gum even though my mom repeatedly told me not to because it was something “lady’s didn’t do”; so naturally that made me more inclined to do it. When I would complain that I it was never a problem before my mother would say almost the exact same thing Meg says “ It didn’t matter so much when you were little; but now you are so tall, and turn up you hair, you should remember that you are a young lady.”  Obviously my mother didn’t say those exact words because I am a mere Five foot four but Just like Jo I as growing up and becoming a lady and I couldn’t get away with the same boyish things I had been doing my entire life. I fought her on it because I loved boys games and I hated wearing my hair up and feeding into what everyone else thought a “little woman” should behave like. It was so much fun reading this excerpt from the novel because it brought back so many memories of my childhood and how much I loved relating to Jo who to this day is my favorite character in any novel I have ever read. 

In Sojourner Truth’s writings she talks about the colored woman’s rights. Women are finally being taken seriously, just like Louisa May Alcott when she was writing Little Women,  and she had to establish a herself professionally at a time when women writers were just beginning to be accepted. Both the woman Sojourner Truth is talking about the Alcott's Little Women are enslaved in some way. Jo so desperately wishes to be able to break the mold and act like a boy but because of societal codes she cannot while the women working in the fields for smaller pay than men want equal pay for equal work but because they are women they cant.  An excerpt from Sojourner Truth’s “Woman’s Rights” shows a letter written about how she should be treated equal to a white woman because she is in fact a woman who deserves to be escorted across a street or helped over a puddle but where as the “little Woman” have books lining their little cottage, they can write and their mother gives them each a book to read for Christmas, This excerpt has almost every word spelled wrong. Woman are equal both to each other and to men. 

I'm Thin Therefore I am ( 2001) By: Nicci Gerrard

I’m Think Therefore I am (2001)

Nicci Gerrard

This was a very interesting article to read. It began talking about the joy of food and how it is so much more than just a means to survive. Food is connected to our emotions, imagination, and childhood. Like Nicci Gerrard I feel reassured by food. Some of the best memories I have with my best friend were made in the kitchen; creating the most outrageous yet delicious concoctions. The best one yet was the Boom Pow Pow Choco Choco shake which consisted of two cartons of Ben and Jerry's phish food ice cream, three swiss miss vanilla puddings, two cups of milk (2%), one chocolate protein bar, a chewy bar, four table spoons of peanut butter, eye ball the Hershey syrup, a jar of nutella (yes the whole jar) and just a pinch of cinnamon. This was by far the biggest party my mouth had ever experienced, my taste buds were so excited they didn’t know what to do with themselves. We had so much fun creating this recipe, and it definitely created a deeper bond in our friendship, all this because of the beauty of food. But the beautiful experience was tarnished once Bianca left and I realized where that delicious shake would end up... “a moment on the hips a lifetime on the hips.” 

We are bombarded by images both on television and in magazines by these woman who look as if they eat an almond we would be able to see it travel down to their stomach before they regurgitated it. It is so sad how obsessed we have become with weight and how we have been trained to feel guilt about eating. Kate Moss recently said in an interview that “ Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” Why is it every girls goal is to look as if they just got out of the holocaust; every rib accounted for, and spine poking out through the skin. I am sometimes one of these girls. I would be lying if I said that I didn't have the sickness that has become an epidemic in this country, an obsession with weight. It would be wrong of me to sit here and say how pathetic this all is, and not admit that I too stand in the mirror every morning mid-change and critique my body, how my hips have grown, and my large butt. I enjoy eating so much, I love using my creativity to make something new in the kitchen, or use my artistic ability to decorate a cake. But if I regret it after wards is Kate Moss right? Does nothing taste as good as skinny feels? 

"Bros Before Hos: They Guy Code" By: Michael Kimmel

The Guy Code:

I never fully understood the pressures of being a boy. I've always heard boys toss around names like fag, or wussy but never actually thought about the affects of those harsh terms on a boys self esteem. Ill never forget the day I went with my brother Erik  to baseball practice, and I saw him break down. This was after I had quit the team and my father had become the coach. They were doing Batting Practice and my brother had made an error on the field; all you heard was my father screaming “Wussy!” and calling him Erika. My brother freaked out at the fact that my dad was openly calling out his masculinity, my dad noticed this and calling players the feminine version of their name when they made an error became his regular coaching method.  They amount of errors made on the field decreased drastically, I never attributed that to the name calling until I read the article “ Bros before Hos”. These boys would do anything to get the approval from one another and from their masculine coach.

Its funny because I read this article right after I red this months issue of Cosmo where there is an article about 29 year old Justin Halperns New York Times best selling Memoir Sh*t My Dad Says... About Women and Sex. It is about the brash advice his 74-year-old dad gives him. This book proves what is said in the article about the fathers need to instill manliness into there sons at a young age. Just to share one of my favorite quotes from the book; this is his fathers advice on finding Justin's porn stash. “ You shouldn’t have left that porno in our VCR. Your penis betrayed you, son. Made you think stupid. It won’t be the last time that happens.” That's more of a funny quote but what You get from the dad is that he does not openly tell his son about the “man laws” but shows him by example. When Justin was rejected by the first girl he asked to prom his dad said “ Sorry to hear that. Hey, have you seen my fanny pack?... No, I care about what you said; I told you I was sorry to hear it. Jesus, I can’t be sorry and wonder where my fanny pack is at the same fucking time?” His dad shows little emotion or sensitivity towards his son. By example he is showing the manly way of consoling his son with little emotion and no sympathy; how the real men do it. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G44bAN-KsiY

A Boy's Life By: Hanna Rosin

Wow... A Boy’s Life by Hanna Rosin was a very challenging article to read. Never did I even begin to think about the challenges of feeling as if you were born in the wrong body. I would be lying to you if I said I did not shed a tear sympathizing for both these confused people and there even more confused families.  As I’ve mentioned in my blog before I have a younger brother and it had never occurred to me to look at what he’s playing with or the clothes he chose to wear, but I guess that's because everything he does seems “appropriate” for his gender.

Reading his article I was transported back in time to when I was thirteen watching lifetime on the couch with my mom and a preview for one of there new movies that was playing on the screen, A Girl Like Me. It was the true story of a transgendered teen and his self discovery of living a life as a woman. He did all the same things that Brandon Simms did; wearing dresses at a young age, experimenting with his mothers jewelry and makeup, and even wearing her lingerie. His name was Eddie Araujo before he became Gwen Araujo, and he was from a single parent Spanish household, which means that his family was not that sympathetic towards his “situation”. The story begins with Eddie at a young age exploring the feminine world he so desperately wishes to be a part of. He hates his life, he hates it ever single day, and he refuses to hide who he is anymore. While the story begins with his youth it focuses mainly on his life as a teenager and the struggles he deals with everyday, fighting who he believes to be and who others try and push him into being. 

When I first saw the preview to this movie  I was so excited to see it. My mom and I even made it into a movie night and invited my aunts to come for the viewing. I guess I was so excited to see it because I had never heard the term transgender before of even knew it existed. As my family and I watched this movie I empathized for Eddie. The pain this poor boy went through struggling to find who he really was. I found this article fascinating because it reminded me of home and the movies my mom and I would get so excited to watch and because it provided almost background information for one of my favorite movies; allowing me to see what Eddie’s childhood was like. This article is fascinating and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, so much so that I sent it to my mother to read. 

Here is a snippet from the movie:  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSjf8W2nCiY&feature=related

Becoming Members of Society" by Aaron H. Devor

Just the other day I was discussing with Professor Huston the reason I put hearts over all the i’s in my name. I believe I said “Because I have a boy name, I put hearts over the i’s so people realize I’m a girl.” As silly as this sounds its true. I have been assumed to have been a boy my whole life because of my name, it is not until people meet me that they realize I am a girl. I hated my name so much when I was younger because everyone would tease me for it and call me a boy. I remember thinking that it would just be easier to become a boy than change my name ( I was young). I had my mom take me to the salon so I could get my hair cut, and I stole some of my brothers old baggy clothes. I was ready to be a boy. This essay really resonated with me because it was so accurate about how we define gender roles when we are younger. I thought I could become a boy if I simply cut my hair and changed my clothes, genitalia played no part in it. Eventually my mom realized how insecure I had grown with my masculine name and taught me the heart over the i trick.  It made me feel much more comfortable. Looking back its kind of funny that I was so accepting to change my gender but not my name. I actually thought it would be easier to just become a boy because I had the mindset that the only thing that differentiated the genders was the hair and clothes. 

Growing up my mom has been my best friend, She is the person I guess I learned my role of “femininity” from, but the problem is my mother is anything but feminine. She is the woman who wants the power tools for Christmas and could care less about the clothing she wears. Unlike my mother I love clothes but I also love the masculine task of working with my hands, as I am a sculpture major. I call this masculine because welding and cast ironing is very aggressive and the essay characterized that as a masculine characteristic associated with males. Which causes me to notice for the first time that I am one of the few woman sculpture majors. I had never thought about this before reading this essay. Did I pick up my love for elbow grease and power tools from my mother? Or was I born with it?

While reading I was reminded of my six year old brother and how he has just learned that he has a penis. He runs around the house naked screaming “I HAVE A PENIS!” I didn’t realize that he was screaming this because it is something he has just discovered. He now realizes that a boy has a penis, and that girls have “something else” to quote Maddox. This is a very interesting essay about gender. It leaves you thinking. What would I be like now if my mom would have encouraged my boyish behavior? What would Maddox end up like if we silenced him as he screamed about his manhood? Who had the biggest affect on how I turned out/ am turning out?

Serving in Florida By: Barbara Ehrenreich

Serving in Florida

Barbara Ehrenreich

FLORIDA! my home! I was so excited when this assignment was assigned because I have become so homesick and just seeing Florida’s name brought a smile to my face and thoughts of home flushing in. I can all to well relate to working in Florida at a dead end job that literally sucks the life out of you. But unlike Barbara in the story working wasn't a means to and end for me but more of a means to a new beginning. I had to work to assist my parents in paying for my college tuition. Reading Serving in Florida made me feel re-affirmed in my decision to begin college right after graduating high school rather than taking a year off to work.

My first job was working at Abercrombie Kids. My days consisted of five hour shifts standing at the head of the store and repeating “ Hey what’s going on? Welcome to Abercrombie!” over and over again. I was bombarded with clothing to be hung a certain way every 5 minutes while the manager watched my folding to make sure I was following the directions for that particular shirt/pant fold. I repeatedly had to clean out the dressing rooms, which held more than just clothes by the time people were through  trying on clothes. The amount of spit up food, dirty underwear, and garbage I had to dispose of from those dressing rooms haunts me to this day. Like Barbara in the story we had different variations of customers. There was the classic over protective parents who refused to allow their children to go into the changing rooms without them,  even though there is a strict no more than one person in the dressing room policy. I was constantly spoken down too and made to feel insipid for my place of employment. I was exhausted constantly from the ridiculous amounts of folding and hanging and getting screamed at by angry parents because there kids couldn't fit into a size eight and they refused to believe there child was not a size eight. LIKE IT REALLY MATTERES! 

Serving in Florida is a smack in the face. Barabaras story forces you to realize the hardships in store for those who don’t study commit themselves to attaining a college degree. I could not imagine working at Abercrombie Kids more than the summer I needed to. I have never held a job as a waitress but based on what I’ve read it sounds very demanding and demeaning being forced to retrieve anything the customer requests. I am so happy I made the decision to begin at a University rather than take that year to work because who knows what would have happened or obstacles I would have come across hindering me from furthering my education. 

Looking for Work By: Gary Soto

I grew up a Puerto Rican in Miami Florida; where there are the prominent white families who have an excess of everything. I can relate to the young Soto in the story when he wishes for that “ perfect TV family” because when I was younger I didn't appreciate the uniqueness of my family, I detested it and wanted it to be like the white families around us. Being Puerto Rican meant having huge family barbecues and celebrations for the smallest achievements. As a young child I thought this so insipid but as I’ve grown older I’ve come to realize that it wasn't about the achievement but about the family. We used any excuse to come together and appreciate one another. Soto as a child doesn't appreciate his family he simply wants them to be like the Beaver family. One thing that struck me as odd in the text was when Soto is describing a family dinner on the show “ Leave it to Beaver” and comparing it to a dinner at his. He describes the one in the show and it sounds unrelieved and humdrum where as his family is so exciting and warm. Like me, Soto does not appreciate the vibrant family he has been so blessed to have.

Reading this story made me realize how little I appreciated my unique upbringing as a Puerto Rican growing up in a mostly white neighborhood. Looking for Work brought back memories of how I would beg to go eat at my friends houses and constantly compare my family to theirs. I remember the look on my mothers face and how when I was younger I thought she was just annoyed at my childishness;  as I see her face clearly in my mind now I realize she was hurt. She could see that I so desperately wanted a normal family dinner with just the immediate family and how I sometimes wanted meatloaf rather than rice, beans, empanadas and any other delicious cultural food I took advantage of. I can only think of the cliche’ “the grass is always greener on the other side” when I read this story because as humans we are never satisfied with what we have, we always want what someone else has. I can promise you that my white friends were envious of the delicious food my Nana was constantly shoving down our throats or the comical Spanish songs we would sing together as a family after dinner. Soto has reminded me to be appreciative of the way I was brought up. Never again will I ask for meatloaf at the dinner table, or request that we speak English. I appreciate the beautiful family I have . AMO A MI FAMILIA! 

Matt's Conflict

Matt is very passionate about playing the guitar and because he is so in love with what he does it comes off in his writing. He immediately had me interested within the first sentence, I wanted to know what wild turn his life had taken down the road of life. Matt adds a decent amount of details throughout the paper that may seam insipid to some but helped me to realize what was going and and become not just an audience member but a band member. This is a fascinating topic for a personal conflict narrative and although this paper does have redeemable qualities it has not yet reached its full potential. I understand Matt's conflict but I am unsure of how his position on that conflict changed over time or the factors that influenced his perspective. Matt does a great job of letting us in to the pain he felt and labeling the club promoter as the antagonist, but a personal conflict essay needs more than just a good guy and a bad guy.

In Matt's final draft he changed my favorite part of the paper; the opening sentence. Rather than just assuming the feeling Matt was having on stage, he is describing it to us, with a more detailed explanation of his feelings.  He explains how music isn't just the love of his life, but how after that first show it had become his life.  In the first essay I was a bit confused about the reason for the ticket sales but my questions are answered within the third paragraph, and explained how it is hated by all bands, but welcomed by the clubs. In the first essay the number twenty five had no meaning to me but because Matt is explaining how difficult it is to sell twenty five tickets I feel more clued in to his struggles, and the strict policy regarding these ticket sales. Because all these details have been added the role of the bass player makes much more sense and the situation is explained in a way that makes much more sense. Because of the details Matt is adding I feel as if I am in this dimly lit  club. In this draft of the essay we are getting to know who Paul is; rather than just assuming him as the antagonist. Matt's writing in his final draft is much more mature, his understanding of the conflict grew throughout his writing which helped the reader to better understand him and empathize with him. 

When I write my personal narrative I would like it to have some of the qualities Matt's paper did. I don't want the reader to feel as if they are not simply and audience member, I want them to feel as if they are part of the show. I want to describe my feelings to the point that they aren't just mine anymore. I have so much passion for writing, just like Matt did for music and I want it to show in my writing just as his love for music did in his. I would like to go more in depth than Matt's paper did both in feeling and context. In his first paper it was a story of a good guy and a bad guy but in his later draft we see that there is much more below the surface but he doesn't dig quite deep enough. When I write my paper I do not want to leave any questions in the readers mind, my readers will feel as if the experience I write about is both theirs and mine. 

Malcolm X; Hair (1965)

Ill never forget the day I was sent home from school because of the vermin feasting on my head. I was in fifth grade and we were in the middle of science class when the principal of the small private school I attended barged into the classroom like a bat out of hell, screaming about the mandatory lice check. I had no idea what this crazy woman was talking about; I remember thinking “ what is a lice?”. Slowly she made  her way around the classroom untying all the braids and hairbands of the girls around me. I didn't understand what was going on. Why was my principal shuffling awkwardly around the room checking  my friends hair? I still had no clue what was happening when she told Chelsea, the girl sitting at the desk to my right, to go wait at the door. Poor Chelsea looked as if she was just told unicorns didn’t exist, with a single tear running down her cheek. The next thing I know my braid is being untied and my long black hair is falling into my face. I hear the sigh from Ms. Gannon and am told to go wait at the door. 

Reading this selection from the Autobiography I was instantly transported back to the busy supermarket Walking through the aisles at the nearby mart, watching my mother frantically toss items into the cart, not worrying about the pain I knew was coming. As we got home my mother put an apron over me and began combing out my hair. As she was adding the Lice “concoction” to my hair I could feel the heat beginning to surge in my skull and my skin threatening to tear apart.  My mother looked at the clock and said wait ten minutes, but I didn’t think I could wait another ten seconds. I ran to the sink and shoved my head under. The hot water felt like it was “raking my skin off”. After my mother, like Shorty, delicately combed my hair with the fine toothed lice comb we had just purchased. The pain was slowly diminishing.

My lice incident can relate to Malcolm's conk treatment in feeling but in the end I had to have the treatment done to rid myself of pests and to be allowed back into school while he realized he was playing a role in self- degradation. I was enduring pain to rid myself of disease while he was  inflicting pain on himself and bringing himself disease. He was violating his “God- created body to try to look “pretty” by white standards.” I can relate to the burning pain he felt and I can also relate to the feeling of inferiority and the notion of changing yourself to please the stereotypical image of beauty. Reading this selection from the autobiography has made me both remember an interesting time in my life and think about how I change myself to please others. 

Hating Goldie by Phyllis Rose

Hating Goldie

Phyllis Rose 

For my tenth birthday I wanted more than anything a sparkly pair of ruby slippers. At this point in my life I had become obsessed with the Wizard of Oz and in order for my life’s dream to be fulfilled there had to be ruby slippers adorning my feet. I had been counting down days for weeks, but finally the day had arrived; October 3rd. Today I am ten years old and I am about to be the happiest kid on the globe with my glittering ruby slippers. I unwrap the canary yellow wrapping paper, slide my hands along the crease of the shoe box; excitement building, speeding up my little heart. I open the shoe box and my rapid my little heart falls into my stomach as I stare at the monotonous brown shoes I have just received for my birthday, as far from a ruby slipper I could possibly imagine.

When I was reading Hating Goldie I could relate to the protagonist when for her birthday she received a canary rather than a trip to Texas. Although I was a bit older when my ruby slipper dream was crushed, I can relate to the despair she felt when her sixth birthdays wish was not granted. I hated those revolting brown shoes, as much as she hated the canary. The smell and appearance of the the brown Italian leather offended my senses, as the song of the canary offended hers. 

Reading this story took me back eight years, and as I read about the protagonist and her frustration at her parents for not letting her suffer I was reminded of my tenth birthday and how upset I was at my parents for making me suffer. Like the protagonist in this story I was privileged and didn’t appreciate the things my parents did for me. My mom thought she was doing what was best for me by getting me the practical brown shoes, just as the mom is the story thought she was doing her best as a mother by withholding reality and not exposing her daughter to death. We all criticize our parents unnecessarily; whether it be for them not allowing us to suffer, or their terrible taste in footwear, but in the end we need to appreciate the life we have been given. Reading Hating Goldie made me appreciate the privileged life I have lived, and after reading I called my mom and gave her the long overdue thank you for the practical brown shoes I received for my tenth birthday.