David Osborne; Beyond the Cult of Fatherhood (1985)

David Osborne 

Beyond the Cult of Fatherhood (1985)

Reading this essay by David Osborne reminded me of my own family life; Where my father is the chef and my mother is the handyman/woman. Like David my father has an occupation besides being the househusband; he is a lawyer but since he has his own practice his hours are flexible. I remember waking up like Nick and calling for my father, waiting for his strong hands to pull me out of the crib and set me in my hot pink high chair where I played with my little transformer toys while he prepared our breakfast; a hot pot of coffee for him and some oatmeal for me.   At this time my brother had already been taken to school by my mom who then headed off to the hospital where she worked long hours in the emergency room as a social worker. I hadn’t realized that connection until now, that both Nick’s mom and my mom each worked at a hospital. There would be days that I wouldn’t see my mother at all because of how late she worked and just like Nick’s mom the guilt would be evident in her face especially when I went to Daddy both as my partner for play and my support. I had become Daddy’s little girl. 

I find it so interesting that gender roles play such a large part in society that Nick’s father would have had an identity crises staying home full time with Nick had he not been an established writer, whereas there are plenty of stay at home mothers that are fulfilled doing just that; staying at home. Nick’s mother also felt a large sense of guilt as she watched her son cry or whenever he was injured or sick and she wasn’t there to care for him. She felt this way because it is woman who has been given the task of being the main caretaker for the children as their first and most important job. It causes me to look back on my childhood and wonder if my father ever felt like less of a man because he was the primary caretaker, or if my mom ever felt like less of a mother because I went to my father for comfort and guidance. 

Gender roles have never played a big issue in my family or at least I never thought so but after reading this essay I wonder if it was a bigger issue to my parents than I originally thought.